CRANKWORX: Day Six...and it Rains

I wake to pouring rain. At 2:03 am, then 4:21 am then finally again at 6:17am. I struggle out of bed feeling very old all of a sudden. My back has seized up and I'm a little perplexed at this until I remember a massive crash on Billy-T that I had trying to stay in front of Rosara on Friday.

There is little to motivate Jeff and I today apart from treating our steed's to a set of Maxxis Shorty tyres for the following week of forecast rain. While we are at it I fit a Shockwiz to my Pikes and treat Jeff's patrol to a new gear cable and housing and replace his mangled jockey wheel. Then it's a few household chores and a visit to skyline to suss out the action and get our media passes. I'm on a mission to sign autographs and get as much Swag as possible. We arrive at Crankworx post lunch to find a ghost town with many industry tents already closed and the remainder getting ready to pack it in for the day.

We wander about catching up with old friends and business acquaintances while I crank up therodfather charm and wait patiently for offers of bikes, gear and of course party invites.

I must confess, getting free shit is hard. Harder than you may think. I don't even need anything but it's a common stress feature of Crankworx that the dealers get inundated with requests from punters for free hats, t-shirts and stickers along with "you should sponsor me 'cause I got 2nd in under 21's at the Piha Beach Downhill". So my plan is to take this to the next level and push these guys over the edge.

My first of many rejections from Rowan Van Lier. If (sorry..when) the head honchos from Specialized see Rowan here in his best customer services mode, please don't reprimand him...at least he was smiling (not like many others)

My first of many rejections from Rowan Van Lier. If (sorry..when) the head honchos from Specialized see Rowan here in his best customer services mode, please don't reprimand him...at least he was smiling (not like many others)

Jeff interrogates Gaz from Nzo about his worldwide marketing coup getting custom one off riding apparel designs to his customers straight off the computer. Mike Stylie from Hyperformance Hardware looks on in quiet disbelief.

Jeff interrogates Gaz from Nzo about his worldwide marketing coup getting custom one off riding apparel designs to his customers straight off the computer. Mike Stylie from Hyperformance Hardware looks on in quiet disbelief.

Smith finally have a helmet colour for DOC so they can hide in the mud and issue fines to pirate trail builders.

Smith finally have a helmet colour for DOC so they can hide in the mud and issue fines to pirate trail builders.

While the ideas were flowing, they also did a colourway for cow farmers. Calfsick yellow should go down a treat.

While the ideas were flowing, they also did a colourway for cow farmers. Calfsick yellow should go down a treat.

Jeff finally finds a bike to match his jacket. Intense Tracer have this cheaper frame option with a slightly heavier carbon and an alloy top link. The more expensive version has titanium hardware and a carbon link in a lighter frame

Jeff finally finds a bike to match his jacket. Intense Tracer have this cheaper frame option with a slightly heavier carbon and an alloy top link. The more expensive version has titanium hardware and a carbon link in a lighter frame

MRP showing off their new Ribbon fork with the backwards facing arch. Heaps stiffer... and I mean heaps.

MRP showing off their new Ribbon fork with the backwards facing arch. Heaps stiffer... and I mean heaps.

Crankworx is a great chance to test out some new bikes.

Crankworx is a great chance to test out some new bikes.

OMG it's our own factory pro Liv rider Raewyn Morrison... and she knew my name. 

OMG it's our own factory pro Liv rider Raewyn Morrison... and she knew my name. 

I could die today, and go home happy. In case you weren't aware..I taught Rae how to ride a bike back in '06

I could die today, and go home happy. In case you weren't aware..I taught Rae how to ride a bike back in '06

I head over to the Pinkbike stand to start a fight (remember those bastards took my shuttle spot with Tippie) but they must have got wind they were about to get rodfathered and had left in a rush. I try to leave a little present on the table but the problem with a 51 year old bladder is it only works when you don't want it to e.g. the movies, concerts, at the pool, but never when you want e.g.when you want to pee.

I head over to the Pinkbike stand to start a fight (remember those bastards took my shuttle spot with Tippie) but they must have got wind they were about to get rodfathered and had left in a rush. I try to leave a little present on the table but the problem with a 51 year old bladder is it only works when you don't want it to e.g. the movies, concerts, at the pool, but never when you want e.g.when you want to pee.

Everyone is packing up already so we head back to the Wide Open tent to try again for some free shit...boy do they have the goods.

Everyone is packing up already so we head back to the Wide Open tent to try again for some free shit...boy do they have the goods.

Pro BMXer Sarah Walker declines my offer of an autograph but is all smiles always. What a champ.

Pro BMXer Sarah Walker declines my offer of an autograph but is all smiles always. What a champ.

The Sram tent always has the goods. I spent a long time drooling over Eagle

The Sram tent always has the goods. I spent a long time drooling over Eagle

Blueshark had the new Foes Mixer Enduro on display. 170mm of travel and 27.5 rear/29er front. RAD.

Blueshark had the new Foes Mixer Enduro on display. 170mm of travel and 27.5 rear/29er front. RAD.

I settle in to do some high rate media stuff in the media tent. The food has all gone and typically the other journos have buggered off for a snooze. They want you to believe it's all work and no play. Take a photo, write some crap then all they do is drink beer, then vodka then maraud around the mall fist bumping the pros.

I settle in to do some high rate media stuff in the media tent. The food has all gone and typically the other journos have buggered off for a snooze. They want you to believe it's all work and no play. Take a photo, write some crap then all they do is drink beer, then vodka then maraud around the mall fist bumping the pros.

When you're the founder of a media empire, the SWAG just rolls in. Good on ya Suzuki for the Fun Carry for the afternoon, my jacket was filling up fast.

When you're the founder of a media empire, the SWAG just rolls in. Good on ya Suzuki for the Fun Carry for the afternoon, my jacket was filling up fast.

Back home for dinner then on with the flash clothes for the Wide Open Distributors party. Matt Whitaker sure knows how to party and he put on a great night with posh food and beer and all the cool kids were there including the Intense team along with Matt's local riders who run his exotic parts selection on their bikes. 

I thought I was one of the last to leave, but things went a step further with that old party animal Peter Burke from Burkes Cycles took a few lads to taste the exotic night life of Vegas (there's only the Lava Bar) and they called it a night at 3am.

Of course everyone wants therodfather at their parties. First stop, the Wide Open extravaganza. Yes, it's still pissing down.

Of course everyone wants therodfather at their parties. First stop, the Wide Open extravaganza. Yes, it's still pissing down.

Marketing geniuses they are at Wide Open. You just didn't know what you were getting.

Marketing geniuses they are at Wide Open. You just didn't know what you were getting.

The usual suspects propping up the bar....

The usual suspects propping up the bar....

TOMORROW: The weather lifts so everyone goes riding.